Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
