Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
