Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
