Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
false alarm, still single
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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