I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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