loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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