Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
