Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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