I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
