Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
