this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
