At least make sure they are 18
Why
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
