she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
