Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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