party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize