Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
