put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
