I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
