I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I pour the whiskey from now on
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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