I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
