This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
