I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
