so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
