She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
