I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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