I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
