And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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