3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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