it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
