I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
