Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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