a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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