Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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