Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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