I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
