soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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