I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
