I think I died a long time ago.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
