My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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