and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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