when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
