You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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