My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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