you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
