I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
