I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
either way he was missing a nipple.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
