it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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