What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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