Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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