...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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