I'm lost and stupid without you.
She's JV to your varsity
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
