i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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