ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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