You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
